I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
