This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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