Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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