So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
