she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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