Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
only you would photoshop your dick
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
