he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
