Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
