Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
