just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
as a side note pls kill me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
