So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize