I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
