i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
