I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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