he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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