Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
