The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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