You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
