nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
