Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
