btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
