dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
