OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
