so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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