well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
