So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
