Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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