Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
