I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
