you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
