So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I need to align my fucking chakras
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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