I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
