I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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