Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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