Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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