not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
