why didn't you poke me back
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
