Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
