She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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