New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
