Please, let me fuck your mom
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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