My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
