So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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