fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
why do cheetos always look like penises
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
