Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
