I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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