the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
