So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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