i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
and you fell through a lawn chair
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
