I love black thongs
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
