He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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