I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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