I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
