I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
