Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize