so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
