Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
