whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
