Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
