Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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