What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
