We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Never joke about your clitoris.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
