New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
