I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
